In early Filipino custom, the groom-to-be threw his spear at the front steps of his intended's home, a sign that she has been spoken for. These days, a ring suffices as the symbol of engagement. Today, the Filipino wedding is a Roman Catholic wedding enriched by additional customs derived from Spanish culture. The Traditions Gone are the days of "pikot" (shotgun marriage) and "kasunduan" (arranged marriage by parents) where both the bride and groom had no choice but to comply. Traditionally though, even at this day and age, "ligawan" (courtship) still exists. "Harana" (suitor's serenade) use to form part of this ritual but nowadays, it's usually love letters (or emails ;-), flowers, chocolates or simply, dating! But when do they officially become a couple? Decades ago, a girl may be expected to say 'Yes' first just so that the guy would know that she agrees. Nowadays, well...they just know. After going on steady ("magkasintahan") for quite a time and the couple wants to crossover from being single and get married, then the following are some points to consider: The Marriage Proposal (Pagtatapat) "Will you marry me?" or variations of those four significant keywords signals the possible beginning of a much-awaited grand celebration. After all, nobody wants to get married without first being asked. The Engagement Ring For would-be-grooms who may be lost for words, an engagement can do the talking for them. Normally, an average Filipino man is wary on giving a ring as gift on ordinary occasions for he's concerned that his girlfriend might get the wrong impression because a ring (especially those of the gemstone-laden species) tend to speak of a deeper commitment. Really says a lot even without saying a word. The engagement ring is not a requisite to marriage but more of an option (that most brides surely wouldn't mind). It is both an adaptation of the western culture and a modern incarnation of an pre-colonial practice by giving dowry to his future wife (and her family) to signify his intentions. The ring is usually given simultaneously with the proposal (note: guys, don't give it until she says 'Yes'!) in a romantic ambiance. Popular choice for the 'rock' is diamond for it is the hardest wearing gemstone but a ring with her birthstone will do (read more about diamonds and other birthstones). Some traditional and sentimental Filipino families even insist and have their son offer a treasured family heirloom as an engagement ring to symbolize her acceptance and approval of his family. In cases such as the latter, it would be better to hand in the ring on the pamanhikan. The asking of the girl's parents' permission to wed the affianced pair (Pamanhikan) The 'blueprint' of the wedding plans are drawn or made known on this occasion. The pamanhikan is often hosted by the bride's family where the groom and his parents set to visit the bride's family to formally ask her hand in marriage and discuss plans for the upcoming wedding over lunch or dinner. This can be a real uneasy situation if it's the first time for both sets of parents to meet. The groom- and bride-to-be may feel a little awkward (nervous even) seeing and listening to each parents consult each other face-to-face on matters like their wedding budget, guest list and the likes. It is customary that the the visiting family bring a gift (often, the mother's best home-cooked specialty) for the hosts. Others may opt to hold the meeting on a 'neutral ground' (a restaurant is a likely choice) or invite a mutual acquaintance to the gathering and help ease the first meeting. Why bother with all the trouble? Filipinos seek their folk's blessings for a happy and hassle-free marriage. Afterall, pamanhikan is a treasured Filipino heritage which, first and foremost, avoids an awkward situation having the parents see each other as strangers come wedding day. Wedding Announcement - the Filipino way (Pa-Alam) The practice of pa-alam (to inform) should not be confused with the Pilipino word "paalam" (goodbye). Though less formal than the pamanhikan, pa-alam is still a gesture appreciated by Filipino elders as a sign of respect. This is a practice of visiting important personages (mostly elder relatives not present during the pamanhikan) prior to the wedding. Couples may go out of their way to visit the person to inform about the upcoming wedding (they may choose to hand in the wedding invitation at this time) or approach the person in a social event (say, a family reunion) to formally let him/her know of the recent engagement. If the altar-bound couple will be visiting a prospective ninong or ninang (godparents of principal sponsors) for the wedding, it is customary to bring a little something for the person to be visited (a tropical fruit basket is a popular choice). Since the 'major hurdle' is over with after the pamanhikan, pa-alam would be a breeze. Though some elders may ask about your love story while others might give a 'litany' about married life or ask the groom-to-be about his work or family background. Basically, the practice is just a round of casual diplomatic visits to the people who matter most to the couple and inform them of the wedding and secure their blessings. Farewell To Spinsterhood (Despedida de Soltera) A send-off party held close to the wedding date in honor of the daughter of the house hosted by her family. This celebrates her family's consent to the marriage and bestowal of her folk's blessings. The groom, his family, close friends & relatives from both sides and the wedding entourage are invited to meet and get to know one another before the wedding. The occasion may serve as the formal introduction of the two families or clans to each other. This affair can be anywhere from a formal sit-down dinner to a casual get-together party. Egg Offerings To Saint Claire Although a rain shower is believed to bring bountiful blessings to a marrying couple, many still prefer a bright and warm wedding day. Ironic as it sounds, modern Catholic Filipino couples troop to the monastery of St. Claire to offer eggs to the patron saint and request the nuns to pray that their wedding day be 'rain-free'. Other couples may consider other food/fruit offerings for even our beloved nuns knows an egg too many is too much cholesterol. Confession Before Marriage (Kumpisal) This is more of a moral obligation than a tradition that should be observed by every marrying Catholic couples. A few days prior their wedding, couples should have their final confessions as a single person with a priest (not necessarily the one who's going to marry them) since they will partake in the bread and drink the wine (the Body and Blood of Christ) during the wedding ceremony. The confession will serve as a spiritual cleansing for the sins committed during singlehood and a commitment and devotion to their lifetime partner. THE WEDDING OUTFITS The white wedding dress has become popular in the last hundred years or so with America's influence in the Philippines. Before that, brides wore their best dress, in a festive color or even stylish black, to celebrate a wedding. Orange blossom bouquets and adornments were a must during the turn of the last century. For men, the barong tagalog is the traditional Filipino formal wear. It is a cool, almost transparent, embroidered shirt, made from silky pina or jusi, two native ecru fabrics. It is worn untucked, over black pants, with a white t-shirt underneath. These days, a Filipino American groom might wear the conventional black tux, but Filipino male wedding guests will usually show up in their finest barongs. SPONSORS The bride and groom, dressed in pure white, stand before the altar with several sets of sponsors. Primary Sponsors Just as in baptism, when god-parents are chosen to act as role models for the newly baptized individual, Filipino tradition calls for principal sponsors (reverently referred to as Ninongs, male sponsors and Ninangs, female sponsors, to serve in this manner when a couple is to be married. As wedding sponsors, they commit themselves to be a source of encouragement and guidance throughout the lives of the married couple. Secondary Sponsors Candle - To Light The Path The candles, lit by the candle sponsors, is a call for enlightenment, a reminder of God's presence in the ceremony. Veil - To Clothe As One The veil sponsors place a ceremonial veil over the groom's shoulders and the bride's head. This symbolizes the unity of the two families into one; it is also a prayer for health and protection during their married life. Cord - To Bind The Couple Together Then comes the Yugal (nuptial tie, a silken cord or strand of flowers or coins, even diamonds) which the cord sponsors entwines loosely around the necks of both bride and groom in the form of a figure of eight. The figure eight symbolizes the infinity of the bond of marriage, a union that lasts a lifetime bound by mutual love. THE CEREMONY In pre-colonial days, a wedding ceremony lasted three days. On the first day, the bride and groom were brought to the house of a priest or babaylan, who joined their hands over a plate of raw rice and blessed the couple. On the third day, the priest pricked the chests of both bride and groom and drew a little blood. Joining their hands, they declared their love for each other three times. The priest then fed them cooked rice from the same plate and gave them a drink of some of their blood mixed with water. Binding their hands and necks with a cord, he declared them married. The majority of Filipino weddings are now Catholic weddings, but some native traditions remain. Most have special "sponsors" who act as witnesses to the marriage. The principal sponsors could be godparents, counselors, a favorite uncle and aunt, even a parent. Secondary sponsors handle special parts of the ceremony, such as the candle, cord and veil ceremonies. Candle sponsors light two candles, which the bride and groom use to light a single candle to symbolize the joining of the two families and to invoke the light of Christ in their married life. Veil sponsors place a white veil over the bride's head and the groom's shoulders, a symbol of two people clothed as one. Cord sponsors drape the yugal (a decorative silk cord) in a figure-eight shape--to symbolize everlasting fidelity--over the shoulders of the bride and groom. The groom gives the bride 13 coins, or arrhae, blessed by the priest, as a sign of his dedication to his wife's well-being and the welfare of their future children. Ceremony of the Arrhae In Filipino weddings, the groom presents the bride with 13 coins known as arrhae (from the Spanish word arras, meaning "earnest money"). The arrhae represent the groom's dedication to the welfare of the bride, and signifies the bride and groom's mutual hope for the wealth, prosperity, and security that they will build and share, especially as their family grows. This ceremony occurs after the bride and groom exchange their matrimonial vows and rings. The arrhae is carried by a coin bearer who marches with the ring bearer during the processional and recessional. The priest dribbles the coins into the groom's open palms, trickling like a waterfall into the bride's hands. The trickling of the arras is a "sign of fidelity bestowed irrevocably" and this completes the marriage contract. THE WEDDING RECEPTION The Food The Filipino wedding feast is elaborate. One feast celebrated at the turn of the last century involved these foods: First was served cold vermicelli soup. The soup was followed by meats of unlimited quantity--stewed goat, chicken minced with garlic, boiled ham, stuffed capon, roast pork and several kinds of fish. There were no salads, but plenty of relishes, including red peppers, olives, green mango pickles and crystallized fruits. For dessert, there were meringues, baked custard flan, coconut macaroons and sweetened seeds of the nipa plant. The Pandango
The Filipino money dance has become a tradition in Hawaii no matter what the ethnic background of the bride and groom. This festive custom, usually begins with the bride and groom's first dance. Sometimes the money is taped together and wrapped around the bride and groom .The dance continues until all the guests have had an opportunity to express their best wishes to the newlyweds with a monetary gift.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
June 2022
Categories |